Laura Wieringa was born on march the 17th in 1998, she was five weeks early,so she had to go to the incubator for two days because she couldn't keep her own temperature, also her drinking was a trouble, many times the nurses had to use the feeding by a sort of tube, that went in to her nose to the stomache. After two days being in the incubator she went to another room where she got in a bedstead, she had to stay fourteen days in the hospital, her drinking went better and better, so after fourteen days she was taken home by us. We are Bert Wieringa and Ella Wieringa-Goedemoed, married since 1992, in 1995 we got Sylvia, she is five now, Laura was our second daughter, we were very happy and complete, Laura was a sweet child, as a baby she was very easy, she didn't cry a lot, her drinking was going great and she was very early in eating things, vegetables, meat, etc, she was earlier then Sylvia was. Also pasta things were Laura's favorite food, she really liked bami, macaroni, pizza, and manythings had to go together with gherkins, I think in America they say pickles, green sour things.

Laura grew up as a wonderfull, easy, blond little girl, she loved living, enjoyed everything what came at her way, on every photo we took of her she is laughing, Laura loved being outdoor, everytime the weather was nice she wanted walking in her push chair, together with her mother and her sister Sylvia she went to the children farm, or to the shops, most of the time grandmother went also with her. On the children farm she liked swinging on the swing, playing in the sand-pit, but going together with her sister on the seesaw was fun also. Something she also liked where the animals on the children farm, especially the goats, she was not afraid of them, in het way she could say horse, sheep, monkey, she was very clever.

On the front of the bicycle with her daddy was something she loved to do, playing with the bicycle-bell or with thegear cables of the bicycle was a hobby of her when we went cycling with her and of course Sylvia. Her feeth were never in rest, always moving, there were some braces for her feeth, but Laura didn't like it to put her feeth in it. In a few seconds she freed her own feeth from the braces and went on moving her feeth freely. 

Last summer 1999 she got acquainted with the swimming pool, in the first place she didn't like it, because the water wasn't warm, but later on when she got used to the temperature of the water in the swimming pool, she really liked it being in it. Taking a bath was something she liked to do, only washing her hair was something she hated, when mommy was washing her hair then she started crying loudly, also cutting her nails was something she hated, then she also started to cry.

Laura loved being hugged, she could sit very quiet on your lap, then she put her head against the chest of the one she was sitting on his/her lap, then she put her little arms around the one and at that way she could sit for a long moment.

Teletubbies was something she really liked to see on television, her favorite was the yellow one, called LALA, she could also say that word, Lala, but also some other word out of the program teletubbies, like ohoo, When you were leaving her for a little moment and she didn't like that, then she said:"Ajaaa." Then we asked her :"Must we stay." And she said :"Yes."

She could play for a long time with primo blocks, the time she was in a playpen, she always threw the blocks out of the playpen and then when all the blocks were out of the playpen she said again:"Ajaaa." In that way she was telling us, that we had to put the blocks back in to the playpen. Later on when she was playing on the ground she could build things out of the primo blocks.

Laura was never ill, of course she had sometimes a little cold, but not the flue or something worse, when Laura had a cold, she mostly had it for two days or three and then it was gone, in stead of Sylvia, she have had many colds. In weight and length she was growing very well, no complaints ever heard at the infant welfare centre. Always satisfied about Laura, she got the vaccinations she needed on her age, she was never ill after a vaccination.

A few weeks before she died she could drink with a straw, she was one and a half and already could drink with a straw, her mommy and daddy were amazed when she did that for the first time, that was during a long weekend at her grandparents holiday place in a restaurant, we were all very proud she could do that. She has done it only then, two weeks later she was death. She could not walk without help, holding one finger of another person she could walk, but on her own not yet, she has not gotten the time to walk on her own.

On september the 18th 1999 she was found dead in her bed by her mother, the world was falling a part from that moment, who would have thought to find your child death in his/her bed at that age, she was one and a half you don't expect that. In the early morning at 5.40 a.m. her mother went to the lavatory, she had painfull cramps, ( would it have been a sign that something terrible would happen, I don't know), she heard her little daughter Laura saying:"Mommy, mommy." That were here last words, she has never spoken again, because one hour later she was dead. The way she said mommy, mommy was not alarming, the way she said it, was just the familiar way, she was awake and wanted out of her bed, but it was so early in the morning that I thought, :"No, Laura, not yet, later." So I went to my bed again and slept till 8.15 a.m., because Laura was awake early we didn't wake her up, she needed her sleep, with her older sister Sylvia we went downstairs, not knowing that laura was lying dead in her bed. 

On 9.15 a.m.her older sister would take a bath, and when Sylvia was in her bath, I went the room of Laura, I opened the door, and in one moment I saw there was something very wrong with Laura, on one side she was already blue, I screamed, screamed and screamed, my husband went upstairs and also saw that there was something very wrong with Laura, we relieved her from her ribbon, Laura was always tied on her bed with a ribbon, through her arm holes of her sleeping sack and around the bottom of her bed we had a ribbon, so she could not turn on her belly and she could not stand in her bed. We went downstairs with laura and my husband tried to resuscitate her, it was no use, she didn't respond because she was already dead for nearly three hours, when my husband was resuscitating her I called the alarm number, I went outside and cried and screamed on the street that someone had to help us, I was in a state of shock, didn't know what to do, in the first place a doctor came, he told to my husband he could stop resuscitate Laura because Laura was not responding at anything, later on our own doctor came so the first doctor was leaving, in the meantime I took my little Laura in my arms and together with her I was sitting in a chair, no one could take her away from me, very firm I had her in my arms, between the time the first doctor came and the way with laura to the hospital an ambulance came with two men, but they could do nothing for laura so they went away again, our other daughter went to the neighboors when we went with the doctor and Laura to the hospital. There we had to go to the children division where a nurse was taking us to a little room, all that time I kept Laura in my arms, I would not let her go or give her to someone else, she was my child and I was keeping her in my arms, there we had to tell the whole story about Laura and her death again, after a while I had Laura to let go, because they wanted to do some tests on her, unsure and after some minutes I had to put laura on a bed and left her behind, we were taken to some other room where was coffee, tea or other drinks, no thank you, I could get nothing through my throat, my husband as well., after a while my parents arrived crying in the hospital, they lost their grandchild, my husband doesn't have parents any more, they died some years ago. The time we could go back to Laura felt like ages, but finally we could go back to her, right away I took her back into my arms and set down in a chair, Laura was getting more blue and blue, so after a while they were asking us if we wanted to wash her and dress her in some clothes, because she was still lying in her pyjama. I told them I wanted to wash her by myself and dressing her by myself, they told us that was oke, so we went home, my parents drove us home, I was looking for some cloths, my parents went to my brothers home where my other daughter was taken in the meanwhile, by our own car we went back to the hospital, I washed my little girl from head till toe. 

After that was done, we stayed a little while with her, she was lying there so peacefully, but so blue in her face, that poor little girl of me. Laura was taken to the mortuarium where she had to stay till monday, then they would do an autopsy. It was vey hard to leave my little girl behind, I cried all the way to my brother's home where my other daughter still was. That night between saturday and sunday I didn't sleep at all, what I was doing was writing a letter to her, this letter was read out on her funeral by my husband.

Sunday we went back to the hospital to visit our little girl, she was lying peacefully in a very little room, still blue and so cold, very, very cold, when I could have warmed her by then I would have done it, but that's not reality, I could not warm her ever again. 

We stayed a little while with her and then we went back to my parents home, where I went to bed and slept a while, because the night before I had no sleep at all. Monday Laura was getting home in a white little coffin, who would have thought that one day my daughter got home in a coffin, never, never, I would have thought that, but it happened, by three men she was taken to her room, on a cooling plate she was standing in her own room, she would stay there for four days, on september the 23rd her funeral would take place.

Many family and other persons came to our house to see Laura and say goodbye to her, we were going to her whenever we wanted to, Laura got many toys in her coffin, little bears, a book about teletubbies, with her own name written in it and drawings from her sister and cousins. On wednesday and thursday we got many flowers from several persons, we were putting them on the ground around the coffin of Laura, all the flowers went with Laura on the day of her funeral.

On september the 23rd we had the funeral of our little daughter Laura, at midday half past one she would be buried on the graveyard, between all the other children who are lying there. First we had a sort of ceremony, the undertaker told something about Laura and then my husband read the letter

I wrote to Laura, she also got the letter with her in her coffin. After my husband was finished there was some music with a song, we were crying a lot during everything and after the song was finished all the people went outside so we and the family could say goodbye to Laura before the coffin would be closed. The idea of never see her again after the coffin is closed, is a real nightmare, of course we all know one day we will meet again, but after that moment when Laura was disappearing under the cover of the coffin was terrible. My husband, my brother and my two brothers-in-law were carrying Laura to her last resting place, all the people who were with us put the flowers around the coffin of Laura and then walked on to the auditorium of the cementary where they got coffee, my husband and I stayed behind, because we would finish this funeral of Laura till the end, the three undertakers let down the coffin in the grave, and went away, so we got some privacy at Laura's grave, after a while we also went to the auditorium where every one was condoling us. 

After every one was gone except the family we went back to Laura's grave, the hole was closed with mud and on that mud was a sea of flowers. Again we said goodbye to Laura and then we went home, we came back in an empty house, no longer was Laura ith us, we had left her behind on the cementary, but in our heart she will always be there, night and day. From day one up till now 

I till keep a diary of Laura, in this diary I tell her everything we do, everything we buy for her grave. I am going everyday to Laura's graven, everyday she is getting a rose from me, the colors of the rose are different, mostly red. We try to live on, it's difficult, but we manage.....